Golly Gosh Gee Dang Whiz No!
by Le Petite Chef M
Summary: Little kids are obnoxous. Especially when armed with a wooden sword and given knowlage of kungfu. This can result in wacky problems, crack headed adventures, and those cheesy moments that make Fuu say meow, but she refuses to answer why...goldenpair stuff


Disclaimer:

I don't own Prince of Tennis. I wish I did, though…-;

I'm kind of new with this series, so if I get some things wrong, please correct me. Also, if I make some stuff up, yea, that's just me…anyway, before you read the story, you need to know four things:

1: The story is told from an OC's point of view, Shuichiro's little sister Fuu.

2: If you see some strange wording/spelling (ex golden pair - golden pear) it's just Fuu's strange way of thinking…

3: "Shui" is Fuu's abbreviation of Shuichiro.

4: Fuu refers to Oishi as Shuichiro (because you don't call your brother by his last name…) and from her point of view he is refered to as Shuichiro. But when he talks or is talked about by anyone else, he's still Oishi. (wow, did that make any sense?)

Anyway, on to the story!

Part the First

It's hot out. Really, really hot.

And not just the kind of normal summer hot, it's the kind that's all sticky and hard to breathe in hot. Shui-nii-san says it's called humidity, but I don't know what that is. I guess I could look it up, but the dictionary's too heavy. Nya…

Well, at least it's summer break! I get to spend lots of time with Shuichiro! I wish Dad were home, but he's on another business trip. He's the CEO of some commercial company, so he's not home a lot. Eh? My mom? I don't remember much about her. She died when I was 1. So I don't really know very much about her. Nii-san and Dad say she was really nice and kind, so I love my mom. Look! I even have a picture of her on my desk! And over there, tha-

"Hey, Fuu-Chan! Are you ready to go?"

"Coming! Is Eiji-nii-chan here yet?"

"Yeah, he's been her for 15 minutes waiting for you to get ready!"

"Ah! Sorry!"

That's my older brother Shuichiro. He's really nice. Kind of like a mom. We're really close, and he's nicer than most siblings. I'm lucky to have a brother like him!

And that's Eiji. He's my brother's best friend, and almost like family to me. He comes here almost every day, so I call him older brother, too. He and Shui-nii-chan have been friends for as long as I can remember. Eiji is lots of fun!

And today we're going to the park! I haven't been there for a while. And I'm taking Marumaru-chan, too!

Eh? I forgot to tell you about Marumaru-chan?

Marumaru-chan is my dog. We're best friends, and we go everywhere together. Sometimes he even takes baths with me! I love him.

"Hey Fuu, are you coming or not? I'm going to leave…"

"Noooooo! Don't leave! I'm coming!"

I raced downstairs to find Shuichiro and Eiji waiting at the front door.

"Sorry! It was hot, I was getting water…" I scratched my head sheepishly.

"Do you have your net and a water bottle?" Eiji asked.

"Yeah! I can't wait to go catch Cicadas!" I replied, swinging my net around. "Oh! I almost forgot!" I raced back up stairs.

"What now…" Oishi groaned.

"Hey, relax, it's not like we're in a hurry or anything." Eiji started.

"Ok! Now let's go!" I came down with my wooden sword.

I bring my wooden sword everywhere with me. It's because father says that a warrior is never without a weapon. Our dad teaches kendo, and me and Shuichiro can both play swords! 'cept Nii-chan quit when he started playing tennis. I play tennis too, but I'm not as good as him. He and Eiji are both Seishun regulars, which is pretty impressive. And since I'm going to be in third grade this year, I can see him play! Because when I was in first grade he wouldn't let me walk to his practice. He would pick me up after, and it was really late. But now I can walk to his school, because the new school is closer, right across the street, in fact…

The park is really close to our house. Shui-nii-chan and Eiji-nii-chan practice tennis there. People call them the "Golden Pear", but I don't know why, because they're not fruit. And I don't think that Shui-nii-chan likes pears very much. He had a tummy ache last time he ate one.

"Hey, we're here!" Eiji swung his net back and forth. "What should we do first? I wanna catch cicadas an' play tennis an' eat takoyaki an'…"

"Hold your horses. We just got here. Let's start with cicadas, ok?" Oishi bopped Eiji on the head. ("Meh…" Eiji complained but then raced off in a random direction to catch cicadas.)

"WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I shouted as Marmaru-chan and I raced after him.

"NOT SO FAAAAAAAASSSST!" Oishi protested but had no choice but to race after the two. "So obnoxious…Hehe." He let a small smile slip through.

"Wow. That one's really high. Can you reach it, Eiji?" I asked in awe as I stared at the giant cicada at the top of the tree.

"I think I can if I climb the tree!" He started to climb.

"Stop! Last time you climbed a tree you got stuck! Are you sure that's a good idea?" Shuichiro finally caught up. "I don't want anyone to get hurt. It's too nice a day, and not even lunch!"

"Oishi, you worry too much!" Eiji said from a low branch. "I'm a MASTER at tree climbing…I think…"

"Ohhhh boy. This'll end up well…" Oishi sighed.

Eiji climbed really high. Taller than me and Shuichiro put together! I hope someday I can climb trees like that…or at least be taller. I'm really short, but someday soon I'm going to be as tall as that American guy, Michael Jordan!

"Gotcha!" Eiji caught the cicada in his net. "Hey, Oishi! Pass me the box?" Oishi threw the box to Eiji, who caught it with the grace of a gymnast. "Thankee!" And then he looked down.

"Er…kind of high up here…" He stammered. "Let's see…How am I going to get down…"

"Eiji! Are you stuck?" I yelled up.

"Me? No way! I can get out of here, easy-peasy!" He shouted back.

"Are you sure?" Oishi asked, concerned. "I knew this was a baaaad idea…"

"Hey Oishi!"

"Eh?"

"CATCH MEEEEEE!" Eiji lept from the tree.

"OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRAZY DON'T JUMP GOD YOU JUST JUMPED HANG ON I CAN'T DO THI-"

thwamp

In the end, Eiji ended up on top of my panicking Nii-chan. So no one got hurt. 'cept Shuichiro gave Eiji a nice long lecture.

"Why the HECK did you do that? You could've gotten hurt, or worse, KILLED!" Oishi was mad now.

But Eiji just smiled and laughed easily. "But I knew you would catch me!"

Oishi turned red. "Ah…err…um…"

"Ha-ha! Shui-nii-san looks like a tomato!" I laughed and pointed.

"Hey, it's rude to point!" But he was laughing too. "C'mon, let's go eat lunch."

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Lunch was yummy. Shui-nii-san had packed us bento, and Eiji bought us all Taiyaki for desert. Yum! Although I don't understand why Eiji was feeding Shuichiro, because Shuichiro can feed himself. But I didn't ask because when I tried to, Eiji-nii-chan made a face at me. A funny one. So I ended up laughing instead of asking.

"Everyone done?" Oishi asked, wiping his face with a napkin.

"Yeah!" I gave him a thumbs up.

"Me too. Good lunch Oishi!" Eiji smiled and laughed. "Ready to play tennis?"

"Ok." Oishi and Eiji stood up. "Fuu, do you want to watch? Or do you want to take Marumaru-chan for a walk?"

"I want to watch!" I jumped up and Marumaru-chan wagged his tail. "Marumaru-chan does, too!"

Shui-nii-chan laughed. "Ok, come on then."

I love watching the golden pear play tennis. It's really cool, because Eiji-nii-chan can do fun acrobats on the court, and Shui-nii-chan can hit everything Eiji misses! Today though, they were playing each other. Which doesn't happen very often. Sometimes they bring other people to practice with them. I remember one person Eiji-nii-chan always hangs out with; I think his name is Fuji…

"Hey, Fuu! Look out!" Oishi yelled from the courts. I looked up to see their tennis ball flying at my face.

"Nya! No time to run away!" Eiji started running off the court.

It was true. The ball was flying at the speed of light. But I wasn't afraid. I had my wooden sword.

"key-HAH!" I swung the sword above my head and the tennis ball crashed into the ground. I made a peace sign. "Fear the sword!"

"Phew. Fuu, pay more attention and don't just zone out like that." Shui-nii-chan came over and gave me a hug. "Why don't you take Marumaru-chan for a walk?"

"Ok! I'll be back later! Marumaru-chan, let's go!" So we ran off.

I don't remember where we went or how long it took us, but I do remember getting lost. We went past a playground, up a hill, over a bridge, and after that, everything started looking alike.

"Marumaru-chan, do you know where we are…?" I asked him. He looked up at me and wagged his tail slowly. "I don't think you know where we are." I glanced around nervously. Suddenly everything looked so big. The buildings were scary looking, and I could feel people's eyes on me. Out of nowhere, three big guys stopped in front of me.

"Hey hey, look at the little runt!" The first one pointed and laughed. I remembered what my brother said. But before I could stop myself, I said it.

"Pointing is rude, you know." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was in trouble.

The other guy, who had a blue hat, leaned down real close to my face. "Yeah? So what? What are you going to do about it?" I just wanted to run. I turned around, but the third guy, with long black hair blocked my way.

"Hey, Masakazu, I think she wants away!" The first guy said to the guy blocking my way. I tried to back up and bumped into blue hat guy.

"Be careful, I think she's scared Outa!" Masakazu sneered. "Hey, Junsaku, what should we do with her? She's too young to be any fun…eh?"

I was afraid. Real, real afraid. But I knew I could beat them with my wooden sword! So I swung it at the guy named Masakazu. And it hit! But…

"OOOOOWWWW! YOU LITTLE BRAT!" He grabbed my sword. "Outa, Junsaku, hold either end." They grabbed either end of the sword. I then realized what they were going to do. My eyes grew wide.

"No! Stop! Don't please!" I protested, but Masakazu just sneered and laughed.

"This is what you get for messing with the Futeki gai gayangu!" He lifted his hand up and made a fist.

"Stop! Please! I'm sorry!" I was starting to cry now.

"Hahaha, that's right! Cry like a baby!" And with that, he brought his hand down, and with an ear splitting crack, my wooden sword snapped in two.

I slumped to the ground. I couldn't do anything now. They were going to beat me up or mug me or something. Marumaru-chan whined and curled up against me. The guys were still all laughing at me. And I couldn't do anything but cry. "Shuichiro-nii-chan…help…" I choked out.

Just then the guys stopped laughing. In fact, they looked pretty scared now. I tried to see what was scaring them, but I couldn't see 'cuz they were to tall.

"Leave. Her. Alone…." A low voice hissed, like a snake.

"Who ARE you?" Junsaku asked. His eyes got really big. "Oh god…I know you…Futeki gai gayangu, let's get out of here!" They ran off, but Outa looked back and shouted, "We won't forget this!"

Which left me and Marumaru-chan alone in the streets. I somehow managed to get the courage to look up.

The person who saved me wasn't tall, but his eyes were terrifying. He was still glaring at the spot where those three had been. He was wearing a bandanna and his mouth was curled into a deep frown. Then he looked at me.

"They broke your sword, didn't they…" He muttered.

"Ah…um…thank you…" I stammered. He gave me a strange look. "Why…? Why did you help me?" I somehow got out.

"…" He was silent for a moment. "…you look like someone I know…"

"Eh? I'm confused…"

"…never mind." He offered me a hand to get up, which I took.

"Hey mister, what's your name?" I asked, glad to have found someone who would help me.

"…?" He looked slightly confused. "…Kaidoh Kaoru…"

"Kaidoh-sempai!" I smiled. "I'm Oishi Fuu."

The look on his face was priceless. It went from shot to just utter confusion.

"So you're…Oishi's little sister…?" He asked, scratching his head.

"Yeah! Do you know where my brother is? I'm lost and I don't know how to get back to the park…" I looked down.

"….that would explain why Oishi and Kikumaru they were so worried. They're looking for you, you know…"

I looked back up. "They were practicing tennis and Shui-nii-chan told me that I could go take Marumaru-chan for a walk. But then I got lost and bumped into those three guys, and they were scaring me so I tried to hit them with my wooden sword. But he took it and broke it in half…" I bent down and picked up the pieces of my beloved sword.

"…c'mon. I'll take you home…" He started walking. But he was really fast.

"Kaidoh-sempai! You walk too fast!" I had to run to match his stride.

He gave me a look that shut me up fast. "You shouldn't complain."

"I'm sorry…" I felt like crying again.

He must've seen the look on my face because he sighed. "Alright, fine…" He offered me his hand, which I took. Then he slowed down.

The walk home was pretty long. We stopped once because Kaoru (he said just call him Kaoru) had to phone Shui-nii-san and tell him I was found. I even got to talk to Shuichiro! Boy was I happy. It's scary when you're alone without anyone to protect you.

And then we got home. Shuichiro and Eiji were waiting for us outside.

"Fuu! Thank god you're ok!" He ran over and picked me up and gave me a big hug.

"I was afraid, Shui-nii-san! But Kaoru saved me!" I smiled.

Eiji put a hand on Oishi's shoulder. "Thanks so much Kaoru. We were really worried."

Oishi put me down. "I owe you one. I really appreciate it. But you don't seem like the kind of guy to help kids…haha, oh what am I saying. Thanks a million."

Kaoru just sighed. "…whatever. I'm hungry. I'm going home."

And with that, he left.

Shuichiro turned to me. "What happened? Where did you go? We were worried SICK!"

"I got lost. And then…" I held out the pieces to my wooden sword. "These guys broke my sword…"

Eiji took the pieces from me. "Oishi, we should tell your dad. He can get another sword real easy, can't he?

Oishi sighed. "Yeah. Yeah he can."

Everything after that was ok. Eiji slept over. Shuichiro made stir-fry for dinner, and we all watched this movie called "The Princess Bride" which was fun. Except Eiji kept jumping on Shui-nii-chan's lap during the scary parts. Which meant that I had to jump on Marumaru-chan, who didn't appreciate being jumped on as much as Shui-nii-chan. But it was fun.

That night I dreamt about mom. She was holding lots of flowers and singing. And she held my hand and took me to a cloud. When I looked down I saw Eiji-nii-chan and Shui-nii-chan walking. They were holding hands. Then the cloud disappeared and I fell. Mom watched sadly from the sky and I think I heard her whisper 'Godspeed, Fuu. You'll do just fine…'

I woke up to find my face was wet. And not from Marumaru-chan licking it, either. I hopped out of bed and went to my desk where the picture of Mom was sitting. I picked it up and hugged it close. Then I went back to bed. But this time I was smiling.

"Tomorrow will be a fun day!"

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And thus concludes the first chapter! I hope you all liked it! And now a preview:

The mountain was HUGE! Bigger than anything I'd ever seen. And from the lift, everything below me was so small. I turned to Shuichiro and Eiji.

"Can I squish those people down there?"

Please Review! Constructive criticism is welcomed. And look for the next chapter of Adventures with a Wooden Sword!

Glossary and Notes:

-nii-chan-Older brother (ex Older brother ShuiShui-nii-chan)

-chan-Little (ex Little MarumaruMarumaru-chan

-sempai-upperclassmen (ex Upperclassmen KaidonKaidoh-sempai)

Kendo-swords

Bento-box lunch

Takoyaki-octopus batter balls, yummy!

Taiyaki-the outside is like a pancake, the inside is a cream, like red bean paste or green tea or chocolate custard. Shaped like a fish.

Futeki gai gayangu-Literally "Tough guy gang"… 

Golden Pear:

Fuu thinks that when people say they're the Golden Pair, they're talking about fruit. Therefore she has the assumption it's Pear.


End file.
